Drive time convo with a seven year old talk box

When a boy becomes a graduate the discussion with a seven year old, on the drive home, can become enlightening. Yes, I am thrilled to report my son, the quiet child, stood before family, community and peers, received his diploma and promptly instructed good ol mom to "hurry up mom, you are taking too long with pictures." Ahem... After all the hugs, congratulations, tears and photo ops, the twisted female child and I headed toward our trusty family mobile for the quiet ride home. Conversation during the walk across the rather expansive parking area should have clued me in to what I was in for on the drive home, but my keen need to get us across the expanse and into the car (really, my feet were killing me and I had the goal of getting to the car and getting those heels off!) did not allow me to pick up on the cues.

"Please walk beside me. Not in front of me, not behind me."

"Mommy, you are so confusing. I can walk just fine right here."

"Yes dear child, but if you can't do what I am asking, I will just leave you here and come back for you."

"Mommy, I can make my own way to the car."

Oy vey... Seven year olds and their sense of "I can do it without you."

Once buckled into the car and out of that never ending move two spaces and wait ten minutes rush to the open road, I asked the seven year old twisted female child if she was proud of her brother. Her reply ran (continuously, mind you) for the full forty minute trip home, began like this...

"Yes, BUT... I am going to do better than bubba. He spends too much time playing his game, that's why he didn't do as well as I will. He could have done better, but that game was his excuse not to. I like to read more than bubba, that is why I have so much smart stuff in my brain. I think my drawing is going to have to be taken out, there just isn't enough room in there for it with all the smart stuff I plan on putting there. Mommy, I have so much smart stuff in my brain, I have no imagination. I wish I did have some imagination, but the smart stuff is more important. Do you think it will be okay if I have all smart stuff and no drawing or imagination parts? I think I will, but it worries me that my friends seem to have more imagination part than me. Maybe they will think I am too smart and not want to play with me because I can't play imagination with them. Okay mommy, I decided I can have two small parts next to the big smart stuff. One for drawing and one for imagination. They will be tiny, but I will fill them up with all the right things. I think my writing goes in the smart stuff, don't you? Maybe I need to make a list when we get home to make sure I put everything in the right place. I have to have a really big smart space, because remember mommy, I want to be a author and a singer/musician. For those I have to get lots of smart stuff from school and college. Is it time to start thinking about which school I will go to? I don't want to go to school where bubba goes. That would not be good. I want to go to my own school. By that time, bubba will be a real adult and could have babies. Did you see that one girl with the big belly? I bet she had a baby in there. And she is to young to have a good man. She really messed up mommy. Now she can't go to college and get a real job and do the fun things you are supposed to do before becoming a real adult and having a baby. Don't worry mommy, I won't be like her. I will go to school, get all filled up with smart stuff, and a little bit of drawing and imagination so I can keep my friends, and get a good job before I become a real adult. I think that I will be 35 when I get to be a real adult. Then I can get me a good man and have a baby. Do you know that B is dyslexic? She can't read much, but her only hobby is drawing. She is trying to get smart stuff in her head, but the drawing takes over. If she would make the drawing part smaller, maybe the smart stuff could get in her brain like it does mine. That's why I know how to do math better than her. Because I don't want my drawing part bigger than my smart part......"

I will stop there. I did interject with a few comments here and there, but this child can run right over anyone during a conversation so it is best to let it just run its course. If any of you remember the McDonalds commercial with the little girl in the backseat just rambling on and on and on with no end in sight, until she's handed a McDonalds shake. That would be my wonderfully twisted female wild child. The key difference being, she talks between sips. Eventually, she did wind down and toddle off to bed. However, this morning began a new day. The first thing she said to me...

"Mommy, now that bubba graduated when does he leave so I can have his room? I want to paint it purple and get book shelves and one of those up off the ground beds so I can make a fort underneath with a big light so I can put all my smart learning stuff in there. Can I also get one of those nature sound things? You know, don't you mommy, that music helps kids learn. So I need lots of sounds so I can keep putting the smart stuff in my brain..............."

Welcome to the brand new world of having a newly graduated child with the world at his feet, and one child who is insistant her imagination is small with all evidence pointing to the fact that despite her wishes, that imagination is firmly intact and growing with each breath she takes.